1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,574 Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story, 2 00:00:03,575 --> 00:00:05,957 the story of how I met your mother. 3 00:00:05,958 --> 00:00:07,894 Are we being punished for something? 4 00:00:07,895 --> 00:00:08,710 No. 5 00:00:08,711 --> 00:00:10,824 Yeah, is this gonna take a while? 6 00:00:10,859 --> 00:00:12,373 Yes. 7 00:00:12,408 --> 00:00:16,807 25 years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life. 8 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,434 It was way back in 2005. 9 00:00:19,469 --> 00:00:22,393 I was 27, just starting to make it as an architect 10 00:00:22,394 --> 00:00:25,207 and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college. 11 00:00:25,208 --> 00:00:26,816 My life was good. 12 00:00:26,817 --> 00:00:29,528 And then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up. 13 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,285 You're getting engaged tonight. 14 00:00:31,286 --> 00:00:33,472 Yeah. What are you doing tonight? 15 00:00:33,473 --> 00:00:35,296 What was I doing? 16 00:00:35,297 --> 00:00:38,069 Here Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life. 17 00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:40,744 And me? I'm calling up your Uncle Barney. 18 00:00:40,745 --> 00:00:44,062 Hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half-Asian girls? 19 00:00:44,097 --> 00:00:47,698 Well, now I've got a new favorite... Lebanese girls. 20 00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:50,739 Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians. 21 00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:54,310 As your best friend, I suggest we play a little game I like to call 22 00:00:54,311 --> 00:00:57,050 - Have you met Ted? - No, no, no. We're not playing Have you met Ted? 23 00:00:57,051 --> 00:00:58,617 Hi, have you met Ted ? 24 00:00:58,652 --> 00:00:59,932 Hi, I'm Ted. 25 00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:02,159 Yasmine. That's a very pretty name. 26 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,097 Thanks. It's Lebanese. 27 00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,976 There are two big questions a man has to ask in life. 28 00:01:07,977 --> 00:01:09,765 One, you plan out for months. 29 00:01:09,766 --> 00:01:12,747 The other just slips out when you're half drunk at some bar. 30 00:01:12,748 --> 00:01:13,982 Will you marry me? 31 00:01:14,017 --> 00:01:15,587 You wanna go out sometime ? 32 00:01:15,588 --> 00:01:18,154 Of course, you idiot! 33 00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:22,008 I'm sorry, Carl's my boyfriend. 34 00:01:22,043 --> 00:01:23,698 What's up, Carl ? 35 00:01:23,699 --> 00:01:27,282 I wanna drink a toast with my fiancée. 36 00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:32,874 I don't know why I was so scared of this. 37 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,786 It's pretty easy, right? 38 00:01:35,937 --> 00:01:37,419 Marshall has found the love of his life. 39 00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,709 Even if I was ready, which I'm not... 40 00:01:39,710 --> 00:01:44,586 but if I was, it's, like, Okay, I'm ready. Where is she? 41 00:01:44,621 --> 00:01:46,661 And there she was. 42 00:01:46,662 --> 00:01:48,484 It was like something from an old movie, 43 00:01:48,485 --> 00:01:52,043 where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, 44 00:01:52,044 --> 00:01:55,069 turns to his buddy and says, See that girl? 45 00:01:55,070 --> 00:01:56,723 I'm gonna marry her someday. 46 00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:59,112 Barney, see that girl? 47 00:01:59,113 --> 00:02:01,907 Oh, yeah. You just know she likes it dirty. 48 00:02:02,954 --> 00:02:04,594 Hi, have you met Ted ? 49 00:02:06,279 --> 00:02:08,535 - Take us to the hospital. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 50 00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:09,780 Did you hit her? 51 00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:12,357 Hit me? Please! 52 00:02:12,358 --> 00:02:15,229 This guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun. 53 00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:18,405 He's all like, Oh, honey. Did that hurt? 54 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,752 And, I'm like, Come on! Let me have it, you pansy! 55 00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:23,258 Wow, a complete stranger. 56 00:02:24,429 --> 00:02:25,894 Your friends don't seem to happy. 57 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:30,481 See, the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend. So, tonight, every guy is "the enemy." 58 00:02:30,482 --> 00:02:34,229 You know if it'll make your friend feel better, you could throw a drink in my face. I don't mind. 59 00:02:34,230 --> 00:02:35,844 She would love that! 60 00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:37,741 Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night ? 61 00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:39,667 Yeah. What the hell? 62 00:02:42,809 --> 00:02:43,999 Jerk! 63 00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:45,953 That was fun. 64 00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:50,097 De... wait for it... nied! 65 00:02:50,098 --> 00:02:52,090 Denied! 66 00:02:52,091 --> 00:02:53,466 We're goin' out tomorrow night. 67 00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:55,808 I thought we were playin' laser tag tomorrow night. 68 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,527 Yeah, I was never gonna go play laser tag. 69 00:02:59,418 --> 00:03:02,717 The next night, I took her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn. 70 00:03:02,752 --> 00:03:04,459 How have I always described my perfect woman? 71 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:05,320 She likes dogs? 72 00:03:05,321 --> 00:03:07,001 I've got five dogs. 73 00:03:07,002 --> 00:03:07,782 She drinks scotch? 74 00:03:07,783 --> 00:03:10,704 I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch. 75 00:03:10,705 --> 00:03:12,925 And I'm saving the best for last. 76 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,196 Do you want these? I hate olives. 77 00:03:15,197 --> 00:03:16,595 The olive theory. 78 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:19,682 The olive theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lilly. 79 00:03:19,683 --> 00:03:21,289 He hates olives, she loves them. 80 00:03:21,290 --> 00:03:23,116 In a weird way, that's what makes them such a great couple. 81 00:03:23,117 --> 00:03:27,803 You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever. 82 00:03:27,838 --> 00:03:29,470 I could take 'em off your hands. 83 00:03:29,471 --> 00:03:32,125 They're all yours. 84 00:03:32,126 --> 00:03:33,126 Did you kiss her? 85 00:03:33,127 --> 00:03:34,199 No. The moment wasn't right. 86 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,807 Look, this woman could actually be my future wife. 87 00:03:36,808 --> 00:03:38,457 I want our first kiss to be amazing. 88 00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:41,065 Aw, Ted, that is so sweet. 89 00:03:41,066 --> 00:03:44,347 So you chickened out like a little bitch. 90 00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:45,820 She didn't even give me the signal. 91 00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:49,060 What, is she gonna, she gonna bat her eyes ayou in Morse code? 92 00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:54,164 Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her! 93 00:03:54,165 --> 00:03:55,945 Not if you don't get the signal! 94 00:03:59,165 --> 00:04:00,972 Did Marshall give me the signal? 95 00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:03,839 No! I didn't. I swear. 96 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,747 There she is. 97 00:04:05,748 --> 00:04:07,230 Ooh ! She's cute. 98 00:04:07,231 --> 00:04:10,486 I'm gonna go kiss her. Right now. 99 00:04:10,487 --> 00:04:11,625 Wish me luck. 100 00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:17,317 Ted's gonna get it on with a TV reporter. This just in. Okay. 101 00:04:19,716 --> 00:04:22,622 I was just hoping to... 102 00:04:22,623 --> 00:04:25,811 get those olives... that you said I could have. 103 00:04:25,846 --> 00:04:28,435 Would you like those olives with some gin and vermouth? 104 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,996 Are you trying to get me drunk? 105 00:04:32,136 --> 00:04:33,788 For starters. 106 00:04:38,893 --> 00:04:42,385 Ranjit, you must have done it with a Lebanese girl? 107 00:04:42,386 --> 00:04:45,856 Okay, I'm gonna see if that bodega has a bathroom. 108 00:04:45,857 --> 00:04:48,424 Actually, I'm from Bangladesh. 109 00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:50,418 The women hot there? 110 00:04:50,419 --> 00:04:52,261 Here's a picture of my wife. 111 00:04:54,347 --> 00:04:56,781 A simple "no" would have sufficed. 112 00:04:57,017 --> 00:04:59,096 I think I like your olive theory. 113 00:04:59,097 --> 00:05:01,534 I think I like your nose. 114 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,227 I think I'm in love with you. 115 00:05:04,228 --> 00:05:04,901 What?! 116 00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:06,313 What?! 117 00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:07,237 What?! 118 00:05:07,699 --> 00:05:08,772 You love me? 119 00:05:08,773 --> 00:05:09,744 I should just go. 120 00:05:09,745 --> 00:05:11,658 Hold on. 121 00:05:12,176 --> 00:05:14,052 Promised you these. 122 00:05:14,053 --> 00:05:16,997 Olives. Thanks. I love you. 123 00:05:16,998 --> 00:05:18,962 What is wrong with me? 124 00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,404 Good night, Ted. 125 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,860 That's a pretty great handshake. 126 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,553 That was the signal. 127 00:05:29,554 --> 00:05:30,554 That long, lingering handshake? You should have kissed her! 128 00:05:33,215 --> 00:05:35,345 There's no such thing as the signal. 129 00:05:35,346 --> 00:05:37,471 But, yeah, that was the signal. 130 00:05:38,313 --> 00:05:39,571 Signal. 131 00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:42,585 That was not the signal. 132 00:05:43,859 --> 00:05:45,399 I asked her about it years later. 133 00:05:45,434 --> 00:05:47,133 And, yeah, that was the signal. 134 00:05:47,168 --> 00:05:49,143 I could have kissed her. 135 00:05:49,178 --> 00:05:50,968 But that's the funny thing about destiny. 136 00:05:50,969 --> 00:05:53,009 It happens whether you plan it or not. 137 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:55,238 I mean, I never thought I'd see that girl again, 138 00:05:55,239 --> 00:05:59,212 but it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was forming. 139 00:05:59,213 --> 00:06:00,213 Like I said, it's a long story.